


CN News Investigative Report: About the Piano

by Ysavvryl



Category: Breaking Cat News, The Aristocats (1970)
Genre: F/M, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 23:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13351344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysavvryl/pseuds/Ysavvryl
Summary: Breaking Cat News here with a live interview with experts on the mysterious device called a piano.





	CN News Investigative Report: About the Piano

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosefox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosefox/gifts).



> Thank you for introducing me to this wonderfully cute comic!

Desk ready, tie straight, fur straight, coffee mug at hand… good. The well-dressed Siamese was ready to go. “This is Elvis with CN news on an investigative report. We have discovered a terrifying dark table that creates a chaotic clamor when jumped upon.”

On a bench by said table, an elegant white Persian twitched her tail. But her manners led her to still it quickly. “It is not a table, it is a piano. And you jumped upon a number of keys, so it made a ruckus of a discord.”

“It is an insult to all of catkind!” Elvis insisted, whipping his tail about. He didn’t like being in the same room as the terrifying thing, but reporting the news sometimes required unpleasant situations. “We are meant to be on things, in high places. That thing mocks us for trying.”

One of the other cats had gotten himself perched on top of the piano. He rubbed at his red fur with his paw, although it seemed he was trying to muss himself out of a well-groomed state. “Actually, it makes for a good perch to watch this room and others if the doors are open. Just have to stick to the edges, especially when the lid’s up.”

A good perch to watch from? Hmph, Elvis had a fine enough perch on this marble sidetable that he’d set up the CN news desk on. “I’m fine here,” he insisted. “Puck is on the scene with two special guests who have in-depth knowledge on the alien piano-thing. Puck?”

Over on the bench as well, the three-legged black cat held onto a microphone with one paw. “Yes, Elvis, I’m here with the cats of this strange place. This is Duchess, and up on the piano itself is Lupin and Thomas O’Malley.”

“Hello,” Duchess said graciously to the camera.

“Hey there,” O’Malley said, then swatted at Lupin’s tail. The white cat was pacing about the keys, making those strange noises. Of course he was eager about it, twitching his whiskers and feeling out the chaotic sound. Elvis wished they’d let him be the desk cat in another room and lowered his ears.

“Now then, what is this mysterious piano thing we’ve stumbled upon?” Puck asked as Lupin decided to walk across the keys faster for more noise.

“It’s not mysterious at all,” Duchess said. “If anything, it’s magical for the beautiful music that can be made with it by a skilled pianist. A piano is refined and noble instrument. Knowing how to play one is a sign of culture, which can be of many cultures. Anything from timeless classical pieces to energetic jazz songs, it’s all wonderful...” she glanced at Lupin playfully bounding around now. “Well, that is, when it’s being played properly. It can be startling to land upon the keys unwittingly. I apologize for the fright, Monsieur Elvis.”

“That thing of darkness cannot be beautiful!” Elvis insisted, clutching his mug for security.

“Wanna bet?” O’Malley challenged. “We can play a piece that’ll touch your soul, or make you want to groove all night long.”

“That’s quite a challenge!” Puck said. “Can we make Elvis like the piano?”

“NO!” he shouted, tail fluffing out. He could barely stand staying in the same room as it. “It’s probably a cat trap; I saw what the guts of that thing looked like, it was dangerous!”

“True, you don’t want to be in there when someone starts playing,” Duchess said. “And keep your tail clear if you happen to be perched while listening.”

Lupin hopped up to the opposite side of the piano above the keys. “That’s fun! Show us how it’s meant to be done, please?”

“Certainly,” Duchess said, pleased to be asked. “O’Malley dear?”

Coming down beside her on the bench, he purred and bumped his head into her’s first. “Sure, let’s boogie.” They then sat on their hind legs to play with their fore paws. Duchess and O’Malley even curled their tails together; such sickening sweethearts, it was disgusting to watch. Not only that, but they made the piano play a lot of loud and energetic noise.

Lupin might have been deaf, but he was in a good position to catch all the vibrations of the piano. He was quick to get on his hind legs and boogie along in dancing, grabbing his hat and swinging it around with reckless abandon. After hopping around to get to the corner where O’Malley had been, Puck started dancing along too, tapping his three paws around and swinging about like he was doing a cute dance for treats. The two sweethearts laughed, playing side-by-side in what might be perfect harmony to others.

At the desk, Elvis glowered at them for enjoying the terrifying thing. He just wouldn’t admit to doing a little butt wiggle as well.


End file.
